The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee
by midori tsuki
Summary: The Radiant Garden Reconstruction Committee is out of munny, so it's up to Yuffie to boost tourism.
1. Forming a committee

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

Notes: I prefer YuRiPa to YRP. It just sounds better… If lots of people want me to change it, I will.

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter One: Forming a committee**_

"_Squall_, why won't you let me do anything?" The ninja whined. Her hands were placed on her hips, a slight pout forming.

"That's Leon." _God help me…_ The brunet raised his hands into a defensive position. "Now, Yuffie…. You know I'd like you to help on the Radiant Garden Reconstruction Committee, but… We just don't need your help right now."

"But Squall—"

"That's _Leon_." _Not that anyone ever listens._

The door to Merlin's home swung open roughly. A woman wearing a pink, puffy dress burst into the room. "Squall, we've got problems!"

"That's LEON!"

Across from the door, the chain-smoking Cid glared at the woman. "You best have a $&'n' good #$&'n' reason for making so much $&'n' noise."

Aerith glared back at the old man, focing him to turn away from the burning green eyes. "We've run out of funds…"

Leon blinked a few times before he could feel his mouth open at its own accord. "_What!_ How can we rebuild Radiant Garden if we don't have any munny…"

"Those $&'n' moogle-$&s don't work for $&'n' cheap."

Aerith tapped her boot waiting for the old man to finally end his rant. "So… How can we get some more?"

"Too bad we couldn't get people to just come here and buy stuff…" Everyone turned to stare at the young ninja. "Why are you guys looking at me like I'm crazy?"

Leon stroked his face. "Congratulations, Yuffie. You're now the head of the Radiant Garden Tourism Committee."

Yuffie's mouth dropped open. She pointed at herself. "Me? I'm the head of a committee?"

Aerith smiled sweetly at the younger woman. "You certainly are… I suppose the first thing you should do is recruit other committee members."

Yuffie bounced out of the house, a smile plastered on her face. When the door closed, the three Restoration Committee members sighed in relief.

"… She's finally gone." Leon laughed at the sentiment. "Sweet freedom!"

* * *

Rikku floated past the rocky cliff. "No treasure here either!" She rose up to the ledge above. Sitting on air, Yuna and Paine appeared disappointed as well. 

Yuna laid a finger on her cheek in thought. "You think… Maybe we already found all of the Radiant Garden's treasures?"

Paine stood up in the air. "Well, it's possible, but how are we going to reach another world for more?"

The three fairies turned to see a ninja running up the rocky route. _What is she doing all the way out here?_

The trio immediately got into their patented 'YuRiPa Pose,' a happy smile on every face. Yuna took the lead, _as always_. "What are you doing all the way out here?"

Rikku questioned, "Did you bring any treasure?"

The ninja grinned evilly. "Even better… I have a proposition for you."

Paine raised an eyebrow. "What kind of proposition?"

"I would like you three on the Radiant Garden Tourism Committee."

"Group Huddle!" The three fairies discussed amongst themselves the pros and cons of the job. "Okay! But, we get all of the treasure!"

"I get the materia."

Rikku tilted here miniature head. "Huh?"

Yuffie placed a hand on her head. "I have no idea where that came from."

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot? 


	2. Gummi Ships

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter Two: Gummi Ships**_

Yuffie laughed nervously as she displayed her gummi ship to her brand new Tourism Committee. It was being held together not with the attractive forces between gummi blocks, but with brown packing tape.

The ninja watched as the fairy trio exchanged odd looks with one another. _I feel left out of the loop…_ "So, what world do you three think would have lots of potential tourists."

YuRiPa turned their backs upon the committee chair, whispering amongst themselves. _Defiantly out of the loop._

Yuffie opened the hatch to her gummi ship, affectionately called 'Kelvin.' She climbed in and waved her committee into the vehicle. Yuna, Rikku, and Paine were hesitant, but the trio entered anway.

The ninja started the vehicle, and had it rise upwards. At about five hundred feet above the surface of Radiant Garden, a sputtering noise started. "That's… probably not good…"

The gummi ship began to plunge downwards, Yuffie screaming. She glanced at the fairies to see they were not panicking. They were merely back into their huddle, mumbling once more.

"So… We'll be going now!" Yuna waved a miniscule hand before vanishing in a flash of light.

Paine nodded her head. "Goodbye…"

"Hope you don't die!"

Yuffie looked out the window, at the quickly approaching ground. _Backstabbers…_

* * *

The borough was fairly empty. The sounds of the defense system drowned out the tweets of birds and the squeaks of heartless. 

Aerith hung her head. _It's worse than I thought…_ "We're not only broke… We're in debt. This is _not_ good."

The brunette felt a hand on her back, and lifted her head to the person behind her. Tifa smiled, "Don't worry. Everything will work out…"

"And if it doesn't?"

"It will."

"No, it won't."

Tifa lifted her gloved hand and smacked the back of Aerith's head. "_Yes_, it _will."_

The pink-clothed woman narrowed her green eyes and growled. "Is that the way it's going to be?" She jumped away from Tifa. On the wall, her hand found a rod. She swung it in a violent fashion.

The pair danced, occasionally landing a blow.

"Ladies, there's no reason to fight over me." The women turned to see Cid smoking a cigarette. "$&, there's enough Cid for everyone."

"We are _not_ fighting over you!"

"… Tifa?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you help me gouge my eyes out?"

Tifa rubbed her sore arm. "Why?"

Aerith once more had her eyes towards the ground. "… Mental picture."

Cid leaned against a wall, taking a long drag. "Can't $&'n' believe I'm being $&'n' ignored."

* * *

Yuna floated over the wreckage. "I don't see her anywhere!" 

"That's because I'm not there." Yuffie walked over, dusting herself off. "Did you forget? I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie!"

Rikku moved to sit on the ninja's shoulder. "So, what do we do now?"

"Easy!" Yuffie flashed a devilish smile. "We 'borrow' someone else's gummi ship."

"You know…" Paine led the way towards the gummi hanger. "I think I like our new boss."

* * *

Cid ran towards the edge of the city. Saying '$&' in various combinations all the way. He could see his precious Sierra disappearing from the horizon. 

His gummi ship had been stolen and someone was going to pay dearly for it.

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

Aww, reviewers! Selunchen123 and nightmare car deserve cookies.


	3. Crashing

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

Notes: Slight _Kingdom Hearts II_ spoilers (it's kinda obvious what would happen in the ending, so I don't really care).

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

**_Chapter Three: Crashing_**

"You _do_ know where we're going, right?" Rikku looked out the gummi ship window at the passing stars and heartless.

Yuffie flailed her hand. "Of course I do! I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie!"

Paine crossed her arms. "You keep saying that, but… What _proof_ do you have?"

Yuffie grinned, and began to dig into a pouch on her belt. "Hee hee!"

_Hmm, that world is getting very close._ "Um, Yuffie?"

"In a minute." She began to throw makeup and weapons out of the small bag. "Ah-hah!" She pulled a small business card out and waved it around.

Paine floated to the card and began to read, "_This card is proof of a degree in Ninjistic Studies. It is presented to Yuffie Kisaragi_… Okay, you win… Although, it does not say you are a 'great ninja'."

Rikku took in a deep breath. _This is going to hurt…_ Sierra was crashing onto another world. A world with lots of water. _I hope we don't drown…_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

Leon leaned against the doorframe. His eyes closed off. Sadly, his ears could not shut out Tron. For the last six hours, the program had been droning on and on about the status of the reconstruction process.

The gunblade wielder had tried to explain that he understood, but Tron would ignore him. _I wonder if having a computer is _really_ necessary…_

* * *

The smaller boy brushed brunet spikes out of his eyes. "Got any threes?"

The eldest teen smirked and his aqua eyes danced. "Nope. Go fish."

The brunet pouted, and reached for the pile of cards. "… Shoot…"

A redheaded girl watched the exchange, her face a mask of deception. "My turn…" Her lips turned upwards. "Sora… Do you have any _threes_?"

Sora groaned and handed over the cards. Kairi flashed her cards, signaling that she had won the game.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The teenagers turned their heads upwards towards the noise. A flaming gummi ship seemed to be heading straight for them.

* * *

Aerith jumped over debris. "Squall? Squall, where are you?"

"THAT'S LEON!" A pile of rubble called.

Lifting pieces of ceiling and floors, the brunette mumbled to herself. After freeing her partner, she sat on another pile. "So, what happened in here?"

Leon avoided her gaze. "Well… my gunblade sort of… went off?"

Green eyes narrowed. "Is that so?"

* * *

Yuna retied her boots. Rikku adjusted her scarf. Paine ran her fingers through her hair. The trio had easily avoided the rampant destruction that had transpired upon the Destiny Island beach.

As for Yuffie, she was trying to pull her oversized, crystalline shuriken out of the sand. Kairi had ended up in a tree, and was trying to keep her panties from showing. Sora had landed a few hundred feet away… On Riku.

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

Aww, reviewers! Selunchen123, Angel-of-Twilight13, Anime-Cat123, Omni-Master, TriggerHappy777, nightmare car, and SilverKitsune013 deserve cookies.


	4. Island Hellhole

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

Note: Happy little KH2 spoilers.

_I felt kinda bad about how short the last one was, so…_

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

**_Chapter Four: Island Hellhole_**

Riku could feel a massive pain in his abdomen. His aqua eyes fluttered open, only to be shut tight against the light. After a few moments, he slowly cracked an eye. _Blue sky… That's normal._

The silver-haired teen lifted his head and squinted at… _A brown star?_ Riku blinked his eyes, eventually creating Sora from the cornucopia of color. The younger boy was sitting on the elder's stomach, looking towards the ocean.

"Sora?"

The brunet did not even turn to face his companion. "Yeah, Riku?"

"Will you get the $& off?"

Sora jumped straight up, a slight blush on his face. "Sorry, sorry, sorry…"

Lifting himself from the beach, Riku glared at his friend. "You're really something…"

* * *

Carrying a hot pizza slice from the kitchen, Tifa paused in the living room. She raised an eyebrow at the sight before her.

The Radiant Garden engineer was curled into a fetal position. One hand was clutching his heart in pain. The other had its thumb in his mouth. Shaking on the wooden floor, Cid mumbled, "Baby… Dead…"

The brunette shrugged her shoulders and stepped over the pitiful man. She plopped onto the sofa and began to munch on the pepperoni slice.

* * *

Yuffie jumped out of Kairi's boat, landing nimbly on the pier. "So, which Destiny Island is this?"

The redhead waded to a ladder climbed out. "It's the business one. Our school's also here." Behind Kairi, The fairy trio teleported. Rikku smirked and sat atop Kairi's head. Yuna settled upon Yuffie's shoulder, while Paine floated around looking pissed. _Or maybe she's sick?_

A few yards from the dock, Riku and Sora were paddling their boats. _Aww… They look so cute… Struggling against the current…_ Yuffie could feel a devious streak pull at the corner of her mouth. She reached a hand into the back of her shorts. At the touch of cold steel, the ninja tightened her grip.

She lifted her knife and threw in one quick motion. Within minutes, Sora's boat was half filled with water. The teen jumped ship, swimming over to grab the side of Riku's paddleboat. The brunet pulled too roughly, launching Riku into the ocean and overturning his boat.

_That was worth losing a knife for._

* * *

Leon entered Merlin's home and his mouth dropped. Tifa was eating pizza on the couch with Cid as a foot rest.

The engineer whined, "My precious… gone. Gone!"

Leon's face twisted up and then everything relaxed. "Whatever… What kind of pizza do we have?"

Tifa chewed for a few more moments before answering. "… Pepperoni for me, meat-lovers for you, cheese for this nutcase," she waved at her footstool, "and vegan for Aerith."

Leon popped his neck before walking to the kitchen for his dinner.

* * *

A group of teenagers waved from a coffee shop, at the keyblade wielders and the Radiant Garden Tourism Committee.

A giddy girl in yellow with flippy hair bounced forward, waving her arms wildly. "Hey, I'm Selphie! Are you guys friends? That is _so _cool!" Yuna blinked at the girl. _How does she get enough oxygen?_

A pair of teenage boys followed, both looking embarrassed by the girl. "Whatsa happanin' man?" The orange-haired teen asked. "Gonna play blitzball wi'd us?"_ What in the worlds is 'blitzball?' Sounds boring… _"Ja, I'm Wakka." He extended his hand towards Yuffie.

Then, he looked from Paine to Yuna and finally to Rikku. "Filt'y Al Bhed," he mumbled.

The second teen boy nudged him in the stomach, "What's an Al Bhed.…?"

Wakka rubbed the back of his head. "Tidus, I don' know…"

_Tidus? _Yuna caught herself drooling at the sight of the brunet stranger. "Huddle!"

The three fairies quickly gathered together into a circle. "These people are weird," Rikku declared.

"I think—what's his name?—Tidus is cute!"

Paine stared at the semi-leader of YuRiPa. "… You're not even the same _species_…"

"I know, but…"

Rikku hugged onto Yuna's waist. "Aww, Yuna's got a crush!"

* * *

Aerith entered the 'base of operations' for the Radiant Garden Reconstruction Committee to find two slackers on the couch and one person suffering a mental breakdown on the floor.

She bent down to sit in front of Cid. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Gummi ship…… destroyed…."

Aerith blinked her eyes a couple of times. "Cid? Don't you want to say '#$&'?"

Cid sat bolt upright from the floor. "……… That $&'n' bitch Yuffie took my #$&'n' gummi ship, and $&'n' crashed it! I $&'n' know it!" The engineer turned his head side to side. "Where's my #$&'n' pizza!"

* * *

Yuffie jumped excitedly on her soapbox. "Ladies and gentlemen! I know you've wanted to see other worlds, and here's your chance! We're taking gummi ship reservations to go to the fabulous Radiant Garden!"

The ninja unfurled a poster of the world. The construction was missing, this world looking pristine and new. _$#$& 'truth in adverting'!_

"A round trip and week's lodging is yours for the mere price of 5000 munny! Don't miss this opportunity!"

The crowd stared at the strange young lady. After a few moments, the shopoholics were lining up with munny in hand.

* * *

Sora rubbed his sleep filled eyes. He could hear an engine outside. He got up and moved to the window. He moved the curtain to allow a view of the outside. His gummi ship was leaving…

"Those #$&'n' whores…"

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

Aww, reviewers! Selunchen123, fire spirit, Angel-of-Twilight13, Meghan, Omni-Master, and (someone who didn't leave their name so I can thank) them deserve cookies.


	5. Wolves

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

Notes: KH2 spoilers ahead. If you want to know what I'm actually talking about, just skip down to the bottom; I put what I'm basing this on at the bottom.

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

**_Chapter Five: Wolves_**

Yuffie jumped out of the microscopic Highwind. This was the first time the Tourism Committee had managed to _not_ crash. _Score Yuffie: One; Gravity: Two. _The ninja placed her hands on her hips, and surveyed the world the committee had arrived at.

A forest surrounded their landing spot. Surprising they could find a patch of land free of pine trees. _Now, where was that castle?_

YuRiPa hovered at the edge of the thicker woods. A rumbling noise was just on the edge of hearing. Rikku moved towards the noise, Yuna and Paine exchanging a strange look.

A growl alerted the fairies to the attacker, before they could see it. The three turned their heads around in a single motion to see a wolf atop Yuffie. Her arm was in its mouth, blood gushing from the wound.

"Hey, Meanie!" Rikku, inches above the committee chair, shook her finger at the canine.

Its eyes looked at the intrusive noise, a grin starting to form on its mouth. In a single movement Yuffie was free and Rikku had been eaten whole.

The fairy reappeared beside Yuna and Paine, drool covering her yellow-orange garment. "That was _so_ gross!"

Yuffie quickly rose to her feet, and took her role as leader. By running as quickly as possible. Without informing YuRiPa of the plan.

"Did she… just _ditch_ us?"

* * *

Tifa and Aerith sat up upon the postern's wall, both looking at the star filled sky.

"Do you think he's out there somewhere?"

"Dunno… If he is, I saw him first."

"Like hell you did!"

"Bitch."

"Slut."

"Whore!"

Within a few moments, the girls had pushed one another off the postern wall and into a mud pile. Aerith was choking while Tifa had her hair ripping out by the roots.

"Normally, I'd say we needed mud, but…"

The young women both glared at Leon. They returned their eyes to their respective prey. Aerith lifted an eyebrow; Tifa tilted her head. A sinister smile pulled at both lips.

* * *

The SOLDIER took another swig of his beer. His companion and enemy sat next to him at the bar, mimicking Cloud's movements. "Why… did you drag me here?"

Sephiroth tilted his head, looking about the small, dingy room. "… It's dark?"

Sapphire eyes narrowed. "You expect me to believe that?"

The silver-haired man let out a small laugh. "Absurd isn't it? But you've always been a bit of a girl about dirt."

"I am _not_ a girl!"

Green eyes met blue. "Yes you are." Sephiroth leaned his head onto Cloud's shoulder. "… You make a nice pillow…"

"I hate you."

"If that were true…" Sephiroth closed his eyes and yawned. "… Why would you follow me?"

"I _really_ hate you."

* * *

"I'm sorry!" Leon clung to the pointed tower roof.

"You think he's sorry?" Tifa tilted her head.

Aerith tapped her finger against her chin. "No… I suppose he's not."

Both girls had a large smile spread across her face. "Too bad, Leon…"

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

_Cloud is way too easy to torture._

Aww, reviewers! Triggerhappy777, SilverKitsune013, Selunchen123, nightmare car, Anime-Cat123, Angel-of-Twilight13, and DeathDragon66 deserve cookies.

* * *

_**Character File: Cloud**_

A "SOLDIER" who effortlessly wields a hefty sword. He once fought against Sora and his friends under contract with Hades.

Cloud hates letting other people see what he's thinking, so he can be an enigma to other people.

He searches for Sephiroth, hoping to settle things once and for all with his inner darkness.

_Yes, it is written this horribly. _

_Can anyone point out where the SOLDIER program is referenced? In which case, where is the Shinra Company World, 'cause I want to see more bishounen (Rufus, Reno, Zack, Vincent…………)._

**_Transcript of Sora's last meeting with Sephiroth_**

Sephiroth: What is Cloud doing?

Sora: Beats me.

Sephiroth: Hmph. By the way, you three… Who are you? _(happy Masamune pointing time; Keyblade appeaers)_

Goofy: I'm not sure we should tell ya.

Sephiroth: Well… That's an interesting sword you're carrying.

Donald: It's the Keyblade!

Sephiroth: I see… So that's a Keyblade. And I suppose you must be its chosen wielder.  
Sora: So what if I am?

Sephiroth: I wonder if it won't change its mind—once I defeat you.

_(Sora beats Sephiroth)_

Sora: How'd you like that?

Sephiroth: _(dusting himself off)_ I admit you're very skilled… But apparently, Cloud is the only who can eliminate me. _(turns around) _Tell Cloud to come here. Tell him Sephiroth is looking to settle things.

_Yeah, Sephiroth changes from sociopath with a god-complex to an obsessive-compulsive. And apparently no longer kills kids._

_**Transcript of Showdown of Fate 2.0**_

Sephiroth: Did you give him my message?

Sora: Maybe.

Cloud: Sorry to keep you, Sephiroth! _(appears after speaking)_

Sephiroth: _(Sephiroth and Cloud walk towards one another) _Cloud… You'll never let go of the darkness…

Cloud: _(lowers bandaged First Tsurugi/Sword) _Shut up.

Sephiroth: _(raises Masamune) _You'll never let go of your past…

Cloud: _(rushes) _Shut up!

_(attack, parry, jump…)_

Sora: Cloud! Get him!

_(Cloud getting "owned"… blades lock)_

Sephiroth: Absurd. Defeating me is meaningless. You know that more than anyone, Cloud. No matter how many times I fall, your darkness keeps calling me back!

Tifa: _(offscreen) _Wrong!

Cloud: Tifa! Stay back!

Tifa: _(seen at a distance so that she appears between Seph' & Cloud) _How can I? I wanna help you.

_(Cloud jumps backwards)_

Sephiroth: You can't. He'll never let go of the darkness.

Tifa: He doesn't have to. He just needs someone to surround him with light. _(Masamune pointed towards her)_ The darkness will be there, Sephiroth—but in a place you can't reach.

Sephiroth: Is that right? Let's see what this light of your can do. _(attacks Tifa, misses, Tifa attacks and misses)_

_(light flash, Cloud covers face)_

Cloud: No!

_(more Tifa/Seph')_

_(light flash, Cloud covers face)_

Sora: Look out!

_(Cloud defends Tifa)_

Tifa: Cloud, you can have my light.

Sephiroth: The light doesn't suit you.

Cloud: I just… don't know. _(Cloud starts to glow white; Seph' rushes)_

Sephiroth: Stop!

_(more glowing Cloud; Seph' stops attack; both leap high; blinding light)_

Sora: Huh?

Goofy: Where'd they go? Do ya think they made it back to their own world?

Sora: They went comewhere else… Cloud went to fight a great battle—to defeat the darkness inside him.

Tifa: Gone again.

Sora: What will you do now?

Tifa: Guess I'll keep looking.

Sora: Got any leads?

Tifa: Don't worry… Light is easy to find. I gotta go. Here. This is for helping me out.

Sora: But wait—when did we help?

_You know what scares me the most? This may not be the most f—d up dialogue in the game. Now, what did we learn? Cloud, Sephiroth, and Tifa are not from Radiant Garden (increasing the potential for Shinra Company World, woo-hoo!). It does make one wonder what the hell was going on between Aerith and Cloud during the original Kingdom Hearts ending though._


	6. Castle fun

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

Note: Hee hee, if you haven't figured it out yet, this takes place after Kingdom Hearts II (to be specific, everything in the credits excluding the final non-extra ending has already transpired), so the Beast, isn't a beast anymore.

_Why couldn't Gaston appear? He has the best song in the entire film!_

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

**_Chapter Six: Castle fun_**

Yuffie knocked on the oversized, mahogany door. From inside she could hear someone yelling, _"LUMIERE, GET THE DOOR!"_

Tripping, things breaking, and a few random shouts called out from the other side of the castle door. The door opened with a definitive creaking. A skinny man with a very long noise, "Bonsoir, ma chère… What brings you here at this hour?"

Yuffie tilted her head. _What a strange man…_

* * *

YuRiPa found themselves within a grand hall. The walls were grey stone, covered with tapestries to keep the heat inside. Armor lined the length of the hallway, while crystal chandeliers lit the area.

"This place looks…" Yuna floated up to the light and examined a strand of crystalline strand.

"Expensive." Paine tapped her finger on a suit of armor.

Rikku smiled. "This place is bound to have _lots_ of treasure."

Yuna twirled a strand of hair. "You guys thinking what I'm thinking?"

Paine crossed her arms. "You know it."

* * *

Leon creaked open the door to Yuffie's home, and his mouth dropped. The entire floor was covered with books, weapons, half eaten boxes of Chinese takeout…

The brunet noticed his prey, a little bamboo plant on the other side of the room. "How does she expect me to water it?" He turned his head, and noticed a sheet of paper attached to the wall.

_Leon-_

_Ninja's don't _need_ floors._

_-Yuffie_

"I hate that girl _so_ much."

* * *

"So, there you have it." Yuffie placed her hands behind her head.

Belle blinked a couple of moments, her mouth opening and closing without a sound. "So… You want us to pay _you_, so that we can visit _you_?"

"Yep!"

A round woman bounced up and down. "Let's go!"

"_No one plots like Gaston_," Belle sung.

"_Takes cheap shots like Gaston_," Lumiere continued.

"_Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston_!" Clockwork finished.

Beside Belle, a brunet prince raised an eyebrow. "Who is Gaston?"

The young lady rubbed her chin. "I do not have the faintest idea…"

* * *

Yuffie glanced at the rest of her committee. Yuna, Rikku, and Paine all had there hands on a lumpy pillow case. "Where have you three been?"

"Here."

"And there."

* * *

Ms. Potts opened a drawer, reaching a hand inside. At finding nothing, she turned her head and looked inside. "Where's the silverware?"

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

_I get distracted too easily._

Aww, reviewers! SilverKitsune013, Moonlight's Echo, Princess Alexa-Ninja Extraordinaire2006, Selunchen123, fire spirit, Anime-Cat123, and Angel-of-Twilight13 deserve cookies.


	7. Parttime job

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

"Real Emotion" is from Square Enix's _Final Fantasy X-2_ and is performed by JADE from SWEETBOX.

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter Seven: Part-time job**_

Yuffie kicked the hatch of the crashed Highwind gummi ship. _Physics is trying to get back at me for my bad-ass ninja skills._

The evening light caused the town to be golden. "Twilight Town indeed."

YuRiPa hovered beside a candy shop. Rikku smacked her lips at the chocolate. "This looks so sweet!"

Yuffie stretched her arm over her head. "… We don't even have munny for the gummi ship…"

Paine leaned against a wall, her arms crossed. "So, how are we going to get some?"

The brunette fairy floated to a sign. "What about this?"

Yuffie walked as the other fairies floated to the billboard. "Part-time jobs?"

_Cargo Climb_

_Needing a Strong Back._

_Looking for someone to carry some stuff. Anyone will do._

"Not going to happen… What else is there?"

_Wanna be famous?_

_Looking for someone to put on a great street performance._

"That doesn't sound _too _bad…"

* * *

Sora looked out the window of his Destiny Island home. "Why do I feel like… Something important just blew up?" 

"Sora, come down for breakfast!" His mother yelled. The brunet shrugged his shoulders, and bounced towards the sound.

"Probably just my imagination..."

* * *

"Let me get this straight," Yuffie pointed a finger at the middle-aged woman, "you want us to bounce a _ball_ to entertain people?" 

"That's correct, Dearies."

The blonde fairy let out a groan. "How is _that_ suppose to entertain anyone?"

Paine allowed a smirk to form on her face. "If we can think of something _more_ entertaining, do we get paid more?"

"Well, I suppose—"

All three fairies had disappeared in a flash of white light. Yuffie raised an eyebrow at the spot the trio had recently floated at. "What could they be planning?"

* * *

Yuna held the microphone close to her tiny mouth. Her blue dress, frilly, as a slight breeze picked up her ponytail. Beside her, Rikku and Paine had taken up positions as back up dancers. 

The ninja leaned against the building, as a mob of people filled the street to watch the entertainment. Yuffie smiled as Yuna began to sing:

_What can I do for you?_

_What can I do for you?_

_What can I do for you?_

_I can hear you_

_What can I do for you?_

_What can I do for you?_

_What can I do for you?_

_Far beyond the hazy borders of my heart_

_I can see a place that's something like this_

_Every now and then I don't know what to do_

_Still I know that I can never go back_

_But those things I've seen_

_In those hazy dreams_

_Can't compare to what I'm seeing now_

_Everything's so different_

_That it brings me to my knees_

_And though I know the world of real emotion_

_Has surrounded me_

_I won't give in to it_

_Now I know that forward is the_

_Only way my heart can go_

_I hear your voice calling out to me:_

_"You'll never be alone."_

_What can I do for you?_

_What can I do for you?_

_What can I do for you?_

_What can I do for you?_

_I can hear you_

_And if I find_

_The real world of emotion has surrounded me_

_And I can't go on_

_But you are there_

_The moment that I close my eyes to comfort me_

_We are connected for all of time_

_I'll never be alone_

_And though I know the world of real emotion_

_Has surrounded me_

_I won't give into it_

_Now I know that forward is the_

_Only way my heart can go_

_I hear your voice calling out to me:_

_"You'll never be alone."_

_What can I do for you?_

_What can I do for you?_

_What can I do for you?_

_I can hear you_

_I can hear you_

* * *

"Onward, towards more munny!" Yuffie shouted with glee. Her new Falcon gummi ship's engines roar. 

"Don't forget the treasure… Can't forget the treasure…"

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

_Stupid formatting..._

Aww, reviewers! Angel-of-Twilight13, SilverKitsune013, Selunchen123, Anime-Cat123, nightmare car, Yamibakeru, and Princess Alexa-Ninja Extraordinaire2006 deserve cookies.


	8. Ninja vs Pirate

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

Notes: I don't like _Pirates of the Caribbean. _It's not funny.

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter Eight: Ninja vs. Pirate**_

Yuffie swung her legs into the air, trying to kick anyone stupid enough to come within range. Her torso and arms were securely tied to the mast. "GET OVER HERE YOU $&'N" PIRATE—"

The captain of the ship rolled his eyes at the ninja. "… I need some rum…"

"Jack!" Miss Swan exclaimed, her hand covering her small mouth. "You don't drink!"

Rubbing his beard, Captain Jack Sparrow blinked. "… Hmm, so, I don't."

* * *

Cid sketched the design for his new gummi ship onto a large sheet of paper. "A little of this… And a little of that… She's gonna be a beauty…"

Tifa stared at the engineer. _He doesn't cuss when he's working? Or maybe it's because his cigarettes are gone… _"Hey, Cid. How you feelin'?" She walked behind the older man and started to rub his back. "Want me to get you a beer, whisky…?"

The blond spun in his chair. "Tifa, you _do_ know there isn't any alcohol in Radiant Garden?"

The brunette contorted her face. "Funny… I coulda sworn I owned a bar."

* * *

Yuna tilted her head. One weakness of fairies: sticking them in glass lanterns. _And butterfly nets…_ "How am I supposed to get out of here?"

In another lantern on the desk, Rikku sat cross-legged in her prison. "Dunno… Wanna try—"

"Don't finish that sentence." Paine commanded.

* * *

Yuffie growled at her captors. _I could really use a knife right now…_

_/Flashback/_

The ninja lifted her knife and threw in one quick motion. Within minutes, a boat was half filled with water. The occupant jumped ship….

_That was worth losing a knife for._

_/End/_

"I am a #$&'n' moron."

YuRiPa flashed before the brunette, causing her to blink. "Where were you guys?"

Paine began to untie the ropes, groaning at the strain. Yuna floated, watching for pirates. Meanwhile, Rikku reiterated the fairies' escape plan. "So I said we should, like, flash the next, like, pirate—"

"Rikku?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

* * *

Cid pulled the oversized blanket down, revealing his new gummi ship to the other residents. "May I present…… Seventh Heaven!"

Tifa twitched a few times before jumping onto the pilot, swinging her arms in rage. "YOU BASTARD!"

Aerith turned to Leon, her eyebrows raised. "Do you…?"

Leon shrugged his shoulders. "Probably best not to know."

* * *

The ninja threw a small shuriken at her _rude_ captor. The pirate rolled out of the way, towards a cannon. Sparrow tilted the barrel towards Kisaragi and fired. The ninja jumped onto the mast.

The ship, on the other hand, did not fare as well. A cannonball-sized hole went through the hull. "…… Um, abandon ship?"

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

_Ninjas are way cooler than pirates._

Aww, reviewers! SilverKitsune013, Anime-Cat123, Selunchen123, nightmare car, Angel-of-Twilight13, Blue Jae, RyukoVulpix, Vincent Di, Princess Alexa-Ninja Extraordinaire2006, and Omni-Master (ch. 7) and Minori Yamada (ch. 1) deserve cookies.


	9. Booty

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

Notes: I don't like _Pirates of the Caribbean_.

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter Nine: Booty**_

Yuffie swam towards the rocky cliffs, salt water getting into her eyes and nose. One arm darting out, pulling back, and the second arm mimicking the first's motion. After her twenty minute escape from the sinking Black Pearl, she finally reached a jagged rock and clung to its algae-covered surface.

A few yards away the massive Isla de Muerta loomed. _This is _not _how I wanted to spend my day._

A flash of light revealed the ninja's committee, YuRiPa. "It's not fair!" Yuffie whined to anyone who would listen. "I had to swim all this way, and you guys can just 'poof' here!"

"Life isn't fair." Paine replied.

Rikku tossed a stray braid behind her. "Oh, Doctor P! That isn't very nice to say!"

Paine's red eyes narrowed and she leapt—_can you leap when your floating?—_towards the blonde. Yuna shook her head as the pair wrestled in midair. "I don't claim responsibility for those two."

Yuffie, her hair dripping water onto her face, only sighed. _How do I get myself into these situations?_

* * *

Aerith looked at the blond's sleeping form. His face was the least damaged by Tifa's 'outburst.' Cid's skin was black, blue, and brown where it had been pale before.

Sky blue eyes fluttered open, and the engineer turned his head towards his caretaker. "How'm doin'?"

"Better." Aerith lifted the blanket to examine his chest. "… A few broken ribs though."

"#$&."

Aerith checked the bandages, before replacing the covers. "… Don't know why Tifa would do this… Do you?"

"#& if I know."

Aerith smiled and turned towards the door. "I'll come back later to check up on you."

"Aerith has a really nice ass…" The pilot mumbled.

The brunette turned around in mid stride. Her eyes dancing with an inner rage. "Ethically, I shouldn't hurt someone who's injured, _but_…"

The man in question tried to melt into his bed. With no success.

* * *

Yuffie wandered around the network of rock that made up the island. _Where's that damn… _YuRiPa had 'gone ahead' to look for a way off this world, but the ninja had not seen wing or hair of the trio. "Probably robbing someone…" She mumbled.

"YuffieYuffieYuffie!" Rikku raced through the air towards the chair of the Tourism Committee. "ItstotallyawesomeComeonComeonQuick!"

Yuffie's mouth dropped open slightly. "Huh?"

"We found lots and lots of treasure!" The blonde placed her hands onto the brunette's in a vain attempt to drag her forward.

"So you didn't find a—"

* * *

"—shopping district?" Cloud blinked at the neon-lit street. Traverse Town was always covered in darkness, so the pinks and yellow lights were painful on the black background.

His 'companion' stood a few feet behind him. The SOLDIER turned to face his darkness. Sephiroth seemed fascinated by something on the ground. "Yes… I need to pick some things up…"

A single eyebrow rose on the blond's face. "Like?"

Sephiroth lifted his face, a slight smile on his face. "Some new wings…"

"I was wondering how those two," Cloud waved towards the bottom of the black jacket, "got there… Do you staple them on?"

The silver-haired ex-hero's face twisted into a mixture of disgust and fear. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

* * *

The ninja could feel her brown eyes bulge out of her head. Inside this cave, a chest, overflowing with golden coins, sat. "That's-that's a lot of treasure."

Yuna played with a doubloon roughly the size of her head. "It's so… wonderful."

Paine sat on the edge of the wooden box, her legs crossed. "So, Boss… How are we getting this stuff home?"

Yuffie ran a hand through her hair. "I saw a 'save point' on the way here… We can use that to get back to the gummi ship."

"Hey," the blonde fairy perked up, "why's it called a 'save point' anyway?"

Yuna, Paine, and Yuffie all stared off into space, trying to learn the answer. After several minutes, Yuna spoke up. "I dunno… Maybe it's named after someone called 'Save'?"

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

_Benadryl is my enemy._

Aww, reviewers! Omni-Master, Anime-Cat123, Blue Jae, Selunchen123, SilverKitsune013, AnimeDutchess, and Yamibakeru deserve cookies.


	10. Land of Stone

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

Notes: Why is the Tourism Committee not freaky skeletons? Because they're from another world, so Port Royal's rules don't apply.

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

**_Chapter Ten: Land of Stone_**

Yuna started drooling every time she looked at the pile of treasure they had gathered. _Silverware, doubloons…_ _Oh, what wonderful finds…_

From the cockpit of the gummi ship, the fairy could see various heartless ships pass by. In the distance, one could make out the Radiant Garden Tourism Committee's destination.

It looked so peaceful from here… _Who would guess that a world of clouds was such a deadly place?_

"Are we there yet?" Rikku whined.

"For the last time, NO!" Yuffie barked.

Paine, perched upon the control panel, groaned at the argument. "How many times is that, Yuna?"

"Four-hundred sixty-two and a half 'Are we there yet's."

* * *

Leon's mouth dropped slightly at the carnage that surrounded him. Blood drops splattered over the wall, sheets ripped to shreds. He could hear heavy panting, so he walked around the bed towards the sound.

Back propped up against the bed railing, Cid stared off into space. The engineer's clothing had been destroyed. Brown spots marked where the blond had bled.

Leon kneeled beside his friend, a comforting hand upon the elder's shoulder. "What happened to you? Did Tifa—"

Cid shook his head slightly. "Uh-uh… Ae…rith."

The brunet shook his head. "You should just stop talking." Leon rose and began his search for the first aid kit. "…… Every time you open your mouth, you get pummeled."

"#& you."

Cold blue eyes turned towards the speaker, icier than normal. "… _That's_ what I'm talking about."

* * *

Yuffie giggled with joy. She had avoided crashing once more. "Go me, go me, go me…"

YuRiPa, in a single movement, all gave her 'death glares'.

"Go me, go me……… Okay, I'll stop now…"

Yuffie reached down to touch her toes. The ninja proceeded to sit on the ground and stretch towards one leg. "You guys have it easy… I'm stuck sitting the entire way. You guys can move around."

"Do you know how much energy it takes to fly?" Paine snapped.

"Well, next to none," Yuna mumbled. At her fairy friend's glare, the brunette added, "But, that doesn't mean its not hard work!"

The ninja moved towards the oversized stone doors. _What is with everyone having giant doors anyway?_

_The newly repaired Olympus Coliseum is just beyond this courtyard… _A large barking sounded, and all four girls turned to see a very large three-headed canine leaping over the stone walls.

The smaller doors opened to reveal a muscular red-head running towards the beast. "Get inside!"

"Don't have to tell us twice!"

* * *

Inside the alcove, Rikku found the space to be rather cramped. Besides Yuna, Paine, and Yuffie, a short man with goat legs and a tall woman in purple were cramped inside.

The goat-man spoke first, "Here to play some more games, Yuffie?"

"Not today, Phil."

A door opened to reveal Hercules, his body glowing. "What are you guys doing here anyway?"

The ninja flashed her sweetest smile. "Oh, we just wanted you guys to come visit Radiant Garden…"

The burly man lifted his hands and shook his entire body. "No-no-no… My fans would—"

The woman in a purple toga—Meg—swayed her hips as she walked towards the man. She placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned towards his ear. Rikku could not hear what was said, but the heavy blush across Hercules's face did not leave much to the imagination...

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

_That was _so_ not funny. I beg forgiveness._

Aww, reviewers! Blue Jae, Selunchen123, and Anime-Cat123 deserve cookies.


	11. “I’m going to Disneyland!”

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter Eleven: "I'm going to Disneyland!"**_

_One._

Yuna twitched as the Falcon gummi ship descended towards a small world. A white castle covered a large portion of the surface. What was not covered with marble was covered by green hedges.

_Two._

The Tourism Committee chair had once again failed to apply the brakes on the gummi ship. All three fairies, calm as ever floated in the cockpit, as Yuffie screamed in terror.

_Three._

"Poof." A flash of light marked YuRiPa's exit from the vehicle, as the ninja continued to crash into Disney Castle.

* * *

Leon stretched his arms towards the sky. Across from him, Tifa and Aerith looked at the stone ground. Returning his attention to the two young ladies, he fiddled with his gunblade's handle. "So… What do you two have to say to yourselves." 

"_Sorry_," both women said in unison.

"You don't _sound_ very sorry."

Tifa looked up, a smirk pulling on the corner of her mouth. "Do _you_ want to feel sorry?"

* * *

King Mickey giggled at the entrance of the ninja. Her hair was disarrayed and her clothes were singed. "What brings ya guys to Disney Castle?" 

Yuffie glared at the mouse. "… Why are you _always_ so cheery?"

Rikku interjected before the king could reply. "But, Yuffie! We need them to—"

"Yeah, yeah… So, would you like—"

The queen of the castle, a wide smile on her face entered the throne room. "Mickey! You'll never guess!"

"What's up, Minnie?"

Queen Minnie managed to walk to the throne, a blue print in her hands, she unraveled it and handed it to her husband. She stepped behind the seat, stating "If we press here," She kneeled behind the throne, "a trap door will open."

Yuffie fell through a now open floor. The three fairies flew after.

* * *

"I think Leon's scared of us." 

"Of course… But he's _more_ scared of me."

"He is not!"

"Is too!"

"I'll _show_ you!"

* * *

The ninja rubbed her sore bum, as she rose from the ground. Yuna, Paine, and Rikku floated about a large white door. The brunette fairy spoke up first, "You think there's treasure in there?" 

"Definitely!" The blonde fairy made a peace sign.

Paine meanwhile floated up from behind the door. "How odd…"

"Well?" YuRiPa stood in a triangle formation.

"Well, what?"

"You gonna open that door or not?"

"Why can't you guys?"

All three blinked in unison. "… Are you serious?"

The ninja nodded, her arms crossed.

The pewter-haired fairy answered, "We're three inches tall."

"Oh."

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot? 

Aww, reviewers! Selunchen123, Anime-Cat123, nightmare car, Blue Jae, AnimeDutchess, SilverKitsune013, and Happy Mooing Octopus deserve cookies.


	12. Black and White

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

Notes: Qipao (also called five other names in China) is a body-hugging one-piece dress for women. There are slits up the sides and a Mandarin collar. They're usually not worn except at traditional Chinese celebrations or as stylish party dresses.

_Double update._

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter Twelve: Black and White**_

Yuffie looked about the place the Radiant Garden Tourism Committee had arrived at. _Something's weird…_ She rubbed the back of her head trying to shake the odd surroundings. "What is it…?"

"YuffieYuffieYuffie!" _Who gave Rikku sugar today?_ "We're-we're-we're—"

"Spit it out!"

Paine groaned at the blonde fairy. "We're in black and white."

Yuna, her index finger pointed towards the sky, "And we're in retro clothes!"

The ninja looked down at what should have been her normal clothes, but was shocked to find she was wearing a dress. And not just any dress… A qipao. _Oh #$&. _"How am I going to do _anything _in this?"

* * *

The silver-haired man whined, "Why do I _always_ have to be _your_ darkness? It's not fair!" 

"Because you _are_." The blond took another swig of his drink. "Now stop whining about it."

Sobbing, Sephiroth continued, "Bu-but I'm more angelic than you… I have wings!"

"You're evil. End of discussion."

The older man gazed into his bourbon. "… Not everything's black and white, Cloud."

The blond tilted his head back. "I know… It just makes things easier."

"So, can you be the evil one today?"

Sapphire eyes narrowed. "No. Now, will you _please_ shut-the-#&-up?"

* * *

"It's so pretty!" Rikku practically drooled at the white orb. Inside lights spun about a bright core. "… Can we steal—I mean, 'treasure hunt'—it?" 

"No." The ninja stood with her arms crossed over a yin-yang symbol.

Yuna placed her hands on her hips. "Why not? You said we get _all _of the treasure."

Yuffie tilted her head. "… I'm against anything that could count as a 'whirling vortex of doom'."

A mouse, with an unusually large head, ran past. As he moved, a weird piano tune played.

"What the hell?"

* * *

Leon sat upon the roof, a slight smile on his face. Below, he could see pink and black fabric swishing. Clangs and thumps marked the scuffle between Aerith and Tifa. 

"Popcorn?" The battered Cid asked, leaning a bag towards the brunet.

Leon grabbed a handful, stating that, "There's nothing better than a 'cat fight'."

* * *

Yuffie smiled as she swung her traveling bag into the gummi ship. She could still hear a pair of chipmunks yelling, "No! Don't take the King's—" 

YuRiPa poofed into the cockpit, as the ninja started the engine of the Fantasia. _Another world… Another gummi ship._

* * *

The king aided his mechanical engineers out of the small metal trap. "What happened to ya?" 

"We're sorry, your Majesty, but—"

"They, uh, took your gummi ship…"

"What a bunch of—"

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot? 


	13. Merry

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

Notes: Credit to Omni-Master for Aerith and Tifa's actions…

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

**_Chapter Thirteen: Merry_**

"Woo-hoo! We didn't die!" Yuffie jumped about excitedly on the freshly fallen snow.

Paine, now wearing a bright red coat, groaned. "Don't you realize that we never seem to get killed by _anything_?"

The committee chair stopped her celebration, her eyes wide with realization. "You're right… I AM A NINJA GOD! Er,Goddess." She continued to mumble, a bell jingling as she moved. Her trademark ninja clothing gone, replaced by a green elf-suit.

"Ho ho ho, Yuffie! Always child-like!" The committee turned in a single movement towards the man.

Yuna raised an eyebrow towards the committee chair. "Friend of yours?"

"I think I'd remember a fat man in a red suit…"

Rikku waved her arms wildly as she flew towards the stranger. "Santie Claus! I wanna pony, a kitty, a buncha treasure…"

* * *

Aerith breathed heavily as she lay across Tifa. "Give… up?"

"Nev…er… Cloud's… mine…" Tifa groaned as she attempted to help her rival off. Her pink dress had several rips in it. With the last ounce of strength, Tifa lifted herself into a sitting position.

Aerith continued to lie on her back. "Maybe…… we should… just ask _him_."

"Wan… na steal… Cid's… gummi…… ship?"

* * *

"Ho ho ho… Well, I _could_ use a vacation, but there's too much work here that needs to be done."

The committee all frowned at Santa Claus. Yuffie rubbed a hand against her side. "What are we gonna have to do?"

The round man lifted his red cap and revealed a rolled parchment beneath. "This is my 'to do list'." He began to unravel the paper, and all members of the Radiant Garden Tourism Committee filled with dread.

"How long _is_ that thing?"

"Oh, two or three hundred meters… Ho ho ho!"

"… Kill me now."

* * *

"Let me drive!"

"No! I have more experience…"

"Fine!" Aerith sat in the passenger seat, a pout upon her face.

* * *

Yuffie carried another pile of presents towards Santa Claus's living room. Yuna and Rikku decorated the Christmas Tree while Paine drank eggnog.

Santa Claus—_evil slave driver_—sat in his comfy chair, a jolly smile on his lips. The ninja dropped the presents beside him, and wiped sweat from her brow. "That's the last of it!"

"Ho ho ho! Splendid job!"

Paine finished off the remainder of her drink. "So, we can leave now?"

"Ho ho ho! You four should see if Jack and the rest of Halloween Town want to go too!"

A sinister smile spread across the pewter-haired fairy. "Halloween, huh?

* * *

Cid stared at the empty space in his gummi ship hanger. He dropped onto his knees and threw his arms up into the air. "WHY?"

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

Aww, reviewers! Blue Jae, Selunchen123, Anime-Cat123, nightmare car, Omni-Master, Happy Mooing Octopus, and SilverKitsune013 deserve cookies.


	14. Happy

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter Fourteen: Happy**_

Rikku cowered behind Yuffie's elfish cap. "This place is creepy!"

Paine practically twirled about in the gloom lighting. "Beautiful darkness…"

Yuna covered her face and shook her head. "What I have to put up with…"

A skeleton, life-sized rag doll, and a barking sheet-like dog bounded up towards them. The skeletal man spoke first, "Welcome all to Halloween Town!"

The ghostly canine floated towards the ninja's face, licking her face. "Yuck! Ghost-dog germs!"

* * *

"Hello? Is anyone here?" Leon could hear the sounds of his boots echoing through the quiet castle. _Where the hell—_

The sounds of sobbing drew the brunet towards the gummi ship hanger. Cid was curled into a fetal position. The Seventh Heaven gummi ship was missing.

"Cid, where's Aerith and Tifa?"

* * *

Every member of YuRiPa had a blank look on their face as they watched their committee chair and the Pumpkin King twirled about the room.

"Dah!" Yuffie was swung about the dance floor. Her partner, lacking skin and organs, ignored her outburst as he lifted her into the air. None of her ninja skills would get her out of this—_what the hell_ is _this?_

"Jack?" The timid rag-doll, Sally, murmured. Her small hand was raised up.

The skeleton immediately dropped the brunette with a definitive 'thump.' Yuffie glared at Jack, her teeth barred.

The committee's host had his arms wide as he walked over to the assistant. "What good news do you have, Sally?"

"Well…" Sally let out a sigh. "Lock, Shock, and Barrel took the Halloween treasure…"

All three fairies eyes brightened up. "Treasure?"

* * *

"They're gone?" Cid merely nodded his head against the cold, stone floor.

"You _do_ know what this means?"

"… No. Why the #$& should I care?"

Leon smirked, as he opened his mouth. A repulsive belch left the stoic man's lips. "We can act like _men_ again."

* * *

Yuffie threw the devilishly-clad child over her knee. With one fail swoop she smacked Lock's behind. She placed two hands on the child's sides and placed him on his feet.

YuRiPa looked over Halloween Town's treasure. It was slightly battered, but still useful.

The ninja moved on to the next child, Shock the witch. The girl whimpered with knowledge of the harm to come…

The fairies poked and prodded at the treasure within the bathtub.

Barrel was the last to suffer the committee chair's disciplinary methods. All three children ran from the brunette, fearful of further damage.

"_This_ is Halloween Town's treasure?" Paine glared at the bathtub.

A giant smile spread across the blonde fairy's face. "CANDY!"

The mismatched-eyed fairy rolled her blue and green eyes. "Rikku really shouldn't have any sugar…"

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?


	15. Hyperactive

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

"Old Time Rock and Roll" is owned Muscle Shoals Sound Publishing Co and preformed by Bob Serger.

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter Fifteen: Hyperactive**_

Rikku bounced from control panel to control panel, pressing buttons and pulling switches. "Sugarsugarsugar…"

The three sane members of the tourism committee huddled together in a corner. Paine's red eyes twitched at the chaotic sight. Yuna was missing chunks of hair. Yuffie had been reduced to thumb sucking.

"We're going to die, aren't we?" Yuna sat upon the ninja's head, idly chewing her fingernails.

Paine leaned against the gummi ship walls, eyes following Rikku's jumping. "Yeah… Yeah, we are."

* * *

Aerith paced the small gummi ship. "… How do you know where you're going? It's not like he left directions."

"I just know… I gave him my 'light'."

The green-eyed woman blinked a couple times, her mouth slightly agape. "Do you know how crazy that sounds?"

Tifa turned her head towards her companion, a sinister glare. "You know… I'm not sure if you'd survive if I 'accidentally' jettisoned you from this ship."

* * *

Sparks flew from the walls, floors, and consoles of the Fantasia gummi ship. The blonde fairy, oblivious to the harm she's created, smiled manically.

Through the windows, one could make out a Heartless ship… A ship that was getting closer…

And closer…

And closer…

Rikku giggled as the Fantasia crashed into the Heartless ship with a definitive, 'Crunch.'

* * *

The engineer stared at his male compatriot. Cid's mouth had reached the floor. Leon, normally cold and lacking a personality, was suddenly vibrant and loud.

But, that was not the scariest part for the blond. Leon was wearing only a pair of boxers. Singing. Badly.

_Just take those old records off the shelf  
I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself  
Today's music ain't got the same soul  
I like that old time rock 'n' roll  
Don't try to take me to a disco  
You'll never even get me out on the  
In ten minutes I'll be late for the door  
I like that old time rock'n' roll _

Still like that old time rock'n' roll  
That kind of music just soothes the soul  
I reminisce about the days of old  
With that old time rock 'n' roll  
Won't go to hear them play a tango  
I'd rather hear some blues or funky old soul  
There's only sure way to get me to go  
Start playing old time rock 'n' roll  
Call me a relic, call me what you will  
Say I'm old-fashioned, say I'm over the hill  
Today' music ain't got the same soul  
I like that old time rock 'n' roll

Still like that old time rock'n' roll  
That kind of music just soothes the soul  
I reminisce about the days of old  
With that old time rock 'n' roll

* * *

Yuffie kicked the Neoshadow in the face. "GET BACK HERE!" The ninja leapt onto the wall and began running, blatantly ignoring physics. She threw shuriken at every black beastly creature. 

Flying close to the ceiling, Yuna and Paine dodged attacks. Occasionally, they would give Yuffie a potion.

Nothing could stand in the trio's way. Why would the Heartless want to? Rikku had already scared every single one. _"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

"RIKKU! STOP TORTURING THAT HEARTLESS!"

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

Aww, reviewers! Selunchen123, Anime-Cat123, Blue Jae, SilverKitsune013, and Happy Mooing Octopus deserve cookies.


	16. Heartless

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

Notes: Heartless translations are underlined.

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter Sixteen: Heartless**_

The blonde fairy twirled a strand of hair about her finger. Her throne was blacker than the night sky. Mostly because it was made out of whimpering shadows. Their yellow eyes pleaded with the remaining members of the Radiant Garden Tourism Committee.

The committee was too terrified to help. So, Yuffie, Yuna, and Paine played several rounds of 'rock, paper, scissors' all hoping for the others to lose. "Damnit." The brunette fairy would be the sacrifice.

"Rikku?" Yuna's voice, timid.

"Yeah, Yunie?"

"Don't you wanna leave those Heartless alone?"

"Uh-uh."

* * *

"Another round!" The fallen angel demanded.

The bartender raised an eyebrow. "Don't you think you've had enough?"

"NO!"

"But, Mr. Sephiroth, you've been here for three days… Continuously."

The door to the bar swung open. A blond man entering, his sword cutting through the wall…

* * *

Yuffie picked the tiny fairy up by the wings. "Now, listen here. I will not tolerate other people crashing the gummi ships. That's _my _job!"

The brunette fairy leaned towards the pewter one to whisper, "She _wants_ to crash 'em?"

Paine shook her head. "No… She's just a control freak."

Rikku, twisting herself, grunted and whined. She was not getting free anytime soon.

The Heartless whimpered in the dark shadows.

* * *

"SEPHIROTH! I am going to defeat you and free myself from the darkness."

Green eyes blinked a couple of times, an eyebrow raised. "And _I'm_ the one who's been drinking?"

The blond SOLDIER glared. "Come on! Fight me!"

The bartender looked from one to the other. "Who's going to pay for my wall?"

Within seconds, Cloud had magically disappeared. Sephiroth grumbled, "Add it to my tab… And get me another drink."

* * *

They're kind of stupid aren't they?

Yuffie kicked at a wall. "Where the _hell _is that damn control panel?"

There isn't one, dumbass! Haven't you looked at our schematics!

"Maybe we're in the wrong room?" Yuna hovered by the door.

Yes… Cause all those _other_ rooms you trashed had someone piloting.

"This is the largest one… It must be here."

Just because you act the meanest, doesn't mean your right, Red-Eyes.

"Ooooo….. They have sugar!"

Oh, #$&.

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

_This is probably going to end soon… So, I'd expect a lag in updates (followed by a whole bunch)… Now, if only I knew what I wanted to write next. ;;_

Aww, reviewers! Selunchen123, Anime-Cat123, Blue Jae, SilverKitsune013, and Happy Mooing Octopus deserve cookies.


	17. Love

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

_Note: Sorry these last chapters are so short._**

* * *

The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter Seventeen: Love**_

_He loves me… _

_He loves me not… _

_He loves me… _

_He loves me not… _

_He loves me… _

_He loves me not…_

_He loves me…_

* * *

Yuffie stared at the blonde fairy. Rikku pouted within the butterfly net. With her brown eyes wide the chair asked, "… Do you guys always carry butterfly nets?" 

Yuna, making a V-sign with her hand, smiled. "Yes, just in case Rikku gets too much sugar."

"Tough love," Paine explained.

"And where do you guys keep it?"

Both Paine and Yuna's eyes met. A frown on both faces. "I don't…"

"Me neither… It kinda just shows up."

Yuffie laid her hand against her forehead. The ninja shook her head. "Maybe… we should just try to figure out where this gummi ship is taking us…"

* * *

Aerith yawned at the darkness that surrounded the Seventh Heaven. _I know he loves me more… I tended his wounds when he arrived at Radiant Garden…_

_/Flashback/_

The brunette smiled as she pulled the man's gloved hand towards her. The blond groaned as she removed the metal gauntlet. Underneath, his hand was a mass of scar tissue.

Aerith gasped at the sight. "Wh-What did this?"

"… Darkness."

Smiling, the young lady's green eyes twinkled. "Well, nothing beats tenderizing, loving, and caring!"

"Don't you mean 'tender loving care'?"

"No, Silly!"

Several minutes later, one could hear screams on the other side of Radiant Garden.

_/End/_

Whispering to space, Aerith said, "I can _feel_ his love from here."

Tifa, barely a meter away, had similar thoughts. "He loves me! My light envelops his soul!"

"… No, he doesn't. He loves _me_."

"Me!"

"_Me_."

"He loves me, and you're going to be disappointed when we get there."

"I'll kill—"

"No attacking the driver."

* * *

_He loves me not… _

_He loves me… _

_He loves me not… _

_He loves me… _

_He loves me not…_

_He loves me…_

_He loves me not…_

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot? 

Aww, reviewers! Selunchen123, Blue Jae, Anime-Cat123, Omni-Master, Happy Mooing Octopus, SilverKitsune013, and AnimeDutchess deserve cookies.


	18. Traverse I

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

**_Chapter Eighteen: Traverse I_**

Yuffie leapt from the ruined Heartless ship. Even if the ninja was unable to pilot it, she took pride in the knowledge she managed to crash the vehicle. The ninja looked back at the huddled Heartless. Not a single one made a move to the door.

One shadow even waved 'goodbye' at the committee chair.

YuRiPa, floating beside the wrecked accessory shop, were huddled together in discussion. Yuna, a finger raised to the sky, turned to ask, "Shouldn't this town not exist?"

Yuffie rubbed the back of her head. "Well… It _was_ made out of destroyed worlds, so…"

Paine, her hands on her hips replied, "We should assume we're all dead then."

* * *

Tifa walked around the dark, neon-lit, streets. Her eyes were closed as she 'looked with her heart.' She paused before the clock tower, opening her reddish-brown eyes. Sitting upon a ledge, was a man.

With messy blond hair. And an oversized sword.

"… Cloud."

* * *

The ninja looked up at the tolling bell tower. "Midnight? Or noon? It is always dark here." She could make out a pair of humanoid-things climbing up the side of the Gizmo Shop. "… Heartless?"

Her hand rested upon her crystalline shuriken. "Well, maybe I can 'borrow' their ship…"

* * *

Sephiroth swung himself around a lamppost. He practically giggled at the darkness around him. His voice, sing-song-like, declared to the world, "Look at my pretty pretty flower!"

The fallen angel was 'falling down drunk.'

* * *

The ninja took only seconds to aim her weapon. It struck the first Heartless, causing it to cry out, "HOLY #$&!" It crashed down towards the second one below, knocking both to the ground.

Yuffie ran to the damage, smaller shuriken posed to hurl. Then she noticed what the Heartless looked like… A dissatisfied Aerith sprawling over a very angry Tifa.

"Umm… Oops? You guys got a gummi ship?"

* * *

Yuna rubbed her hands together over the remains of the accessory shop… _Crashing _does_ have its advantages. _Her hands rested upon a giant crystal… "This looks valuable!"

"I got a shield; ain't it cool?"

"Treasure hunting… Always interesting."

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?


	19. Traverse II

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter Nineteen: Traverse II**_

"So who do you love more?" Tifa leaned over, her hands upon her hips.

Yuffie blinked at the blatant demand. Cloud's eyes doubled in size. With a single voice, they said, "What?"

"Which one," Aerith's voice calm and collected, "of us do you love?"

"I don't love any of you."

Yuffie turned her face from the trio. _He doesn't know them very well. _She could hear boots running across the rooftops. The sounds of a sword used as a shield. "He's… really stupid."

* * *

Rikku drooled over the collection of treasure the trio had collected. "Oh, goody-good!"

"Hey…" Paine's red eyes closed, "What are we going to _do_ with all this treasure anyway?"

The brunette fairy blinked. "Don't know… Didn't think that far ahead."

* * *

Sephiroth flew towards the sounds of a scuffle. His glowing eyes brightened at the sight. Cloud was being beaten by a pair of girls. "Aw, Cloudy-woudy!"

Four pairs of eyes looked up, shock on every face. The dumbest one spoke first, "What. The. Hell."

The silver-haired angel landed onto the rooftop, hugging the blond's torso. Rubbing his face against Cloud's shoulder, Sephiroth explained, "He's my wittle Croudy-woudy."

Both men's faces were red. Cloud from embarrassment. Sephiroth from several days of drinking…

Tifa rubbed the back of her head, "Uh, yeah… I think I'll be goin'…"

The green-eyed woman, walking past the pair of men, mumbled, "They _deserve _each other."

The ninja took out a small camera from a pocket. "These'll sell big time!"

Click.

Click.

Click.

"I hate you, Sephiroth."

Click.

Click.

Click.

"But I wuv you, Cwoudy!"

* * *

The girls of the Restoration Committee and Tourism Committees squeezed into the gummi ship… A tricky feat with munni, silverware, Aztec gold, accessories……

"Tifa… You're still the bigger bitch.

Yuffie rolled her eyes. _They make _me_ look mature._

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?


	20. Homecoming

Disclaimer: Square Enix and Disney own the characters and worlds featured. I'm just borrowing them (apparently I cannot 'buy' the _Kingdom Hearts_ universe, ratsifratchit….).

* * *

**The Radiant Garden Tourism Committee**

_**Chapter Twenty: Homecoming**_

Rikku dived into the coins. "Woo-hoo!"

Paine studied her reflection in a silver spoon.

Yuna put on a fashion show with her new accessories. Not that anyone bothered to watch.

* * *

Sora stared into the distant ocean horizon. His friends, Riku and Kairi, sat beside him on the beach.

"It'd be nice… To see Radiant Garden again." The brunet smiled at the notion. Those memories seemed so distant now.

* * *

"Well… Yuffie managed to get a lot of munny…"

"Yay, although a new gummi ship for all the tourists will be pretty expensive."

"Who said we were going to be picking them up, Aerith?"

"…… Interesting idea, Tifa… I like it."

* * *

King Mickey blinked at the news he was presented. "I have to get to my gummi—"

"Yer Majesty!"

"—Oh, I forgot, Goofy… I guess it's bottle mail then."

* * *

Yuffie hopped out of the crashed Seventh Heaven. _For once, it wasn't my fault… Really!_

_/Flashback/_

"Radiant Garden's north of here!"

"No it's not; it's west."

Yuffie closed her eyes tight to the view outside the gummi ship. She had given up explaining that Radiant Garden was right in front of them. And getting closer…

_/End/_

The ninja skipped through the Postern. She jumped over debris, a smile plastered on her face. She leapt over the edge landing before the door to Ansem's old castle. Pushing the door open, she ran towards the study.

To find Cid huddled on the floor. Sucking his thumb.

Ignoring the engineer, Yuffie continued towards the Heartless Manufactory. She looked down into the room, observing Leon dancing… Without any pants on.

"Was Squall… eating mushroom Heartless?"

"THAT'S LEON!"

* * *

Yes, I am insane. But, I'd still like to hear what you guys/ gals think about this… Would you call it a plot?

_I'd like to thank everyone who read this. Extra "thank you"s for writing reviews._


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